Just came in from the dentist. Ugh, hate hate hate anesthetic-induced grogginess. Also, I keep swallowing blood because I can't close my mouth properly and the gauze pad will not stay in place.

Blood is gross, y'all.

And I'm groggy.

::goes off to bed::

Phone rings, I pick it up. It's the BFF.

Me: hey!
Him: wassup? wanna come over and play video games with me?
Me: you're home? On a Sunday? Don't you have some socializing to get done?
Him: Nah, the sister's not home so I thought I'd enjoy the place all by myself?
Me: which explains the invite to play video games. Is this your subtle way of asking me to drop by the bakery and bring you some kind of tooth destroyer or another?
Him: ...there's a spider on the ceiling.
Me. I see.

He hates spiders.

Him: can you come over and get rid of it? My sister's not around, did I mention that?
Me: dude, spiders are little things you can shoo out of places, you don't even have to splat them or anything.
Him: you mean as opposed to maggots that must be squished to death by your abnegated friend or else you'll start crying?
Me: shut up, that was low. Wait for me downstairs and I'm not dropping by the bakery, just so you know.

I'm leaving now, there might be some ice cream in my future. For the record, maggots are gross, spiders are merely many-legged.

1. Accidentally knock over the salt shaker. As you watch it tumble to the floor hope against the laws of physics of these things that it does not fall on it's top.
2. Curse as it falls on it's top.
3. IMPORTANT: When picking salt shaker up from the floor, DO NOT TURN IT UPRIGHT. Maintain the bottom up as you lift FOR MAXIMUM SPILLAGE.
4. Consider self-induced headdesking.
5. As you sweep off the little white hillock standing in bold contrast with the dark tiles of your floor, take a moment to indulge in florid prose and then consider yourself lucky for your lack of superstition.
5a. Should you happen to believe in these things, proceed to toss approximately a teaspoonful of salt over left shoulder in order to counteract/avoid whatever effect spilled salt is supposed to have on your right shoulder life.
5ai. Er, sweep off the intentionally tossed salt?

Thank you for reading, and may I wish you a happy water-retention free, low sodium life (until tomorrow, anyway, when you can go to the convenience store to get more salt).

::curtsies::

Oh, man. You know you need to get off your ass when an entire weekend can be qualified as productive solely because you (finally!) shaved your legs.

Although, it bears noticing that upon a second reading of A Game of Thrones, realization dawned that I really like Queen Cersei and kind of want to smack Eddard Stark around something fierce. Also Arya remains glorious and Jon Snow is still mah boy. Plus I have this new-found love, (though love is not the right word, I guess care for her arc is the appropriate concept here) for Cat Stark, the first time she, like Sansa, rubbed me in ALL THE WRONG WAYS, but I guess I'm more mature now ::coughshutupcough:: and her general situation and struggle is more interesting and resonating than before. Though I find myself hard-pressed to give my unconditional love to anybody who is not Arya or Bran or Jon. Or Dany. Yet, I keep on reading so, well played Mr. Author, well played.

Got the second book (which I've never read) in the series already lined up and everything. Will get to it right after I'm done with the current Terry Pratchett (The Truth, in case you were curious. And in this particular universe, I've no qualms with pledging my unbreakable loyalty to all and sundry. Excellently played, Mr. Author). Then I'll get back to the complicated political hijinks of Westeros and adjacent lands.

Ugh, I hate that my windows are located in such a fashion that NO BREEZE EVER GETS IN, which means that no matter how fresh outside, unless the walls themselves are cool, its an over in here and I'm sweating and getting itchy and annoyed. AUTUMN, SHOW YER FACE, DUDE.

One day I'll not make a point of pointing out to you how utterly fantastic I think Bradders is. Today, is not that day.

Because he has excellent penmanship and also uses phrases like 'the written form of the Merlin experience'. Also, his signature here is rather badass in the best of ways. Also love how loopy Katie's handwriting is.

On less interesting, but in no way less badass news, today I took a nap, right? and dreamed that I was some sort of sidekick to a heroine who looked suspiciously like La Jolie, and while I was not actually this heroine person, I got to uncover the trap, fool the nurse while Angie kicked ass and DRIVE THE GET AWAY CAR. Yup, even my subconscious thinks I'm a BAMF. And no, this is not a JD situation in which my inferiority complex leads me to be the sidekick and NOT the hero, because I GOT TO DRIVE THE GET AWAY CAR, and obviously only the most coolest of the Cool Sidekicks get to do that, so your arguments are invalid.

Good night, y'all.

Why, find out that Captain Wow Mr. James is ready to start doing audio work.

Which is, of course, the reason why I've spent the entire afternoon with my headphones on. Please, do stop and notice the many adjectives used to describe his voice.

TINTINNABULATION! ::'splodes::

::is not changing beej tag to captain wow::

Day's been kind of rollercoastery, you guys.

Things of the ugh:

~ The former mother-in-law invited me over for her birthday lunch (it's their tradition), I wasn't really expecting an invite and then I wasn't really expecting to go but when I caught myself paying for the earrings I bought her, well, yes. I went. It was nice, I really do miss that part of my relationship with S, he's big on family stuff (in case you hadn't figured that out) and so am I, we used to bond over this. He was there, of course, and it wasn't half as awkward as I thought it would be, but I kinda wish it had been because now I'm all depressed because I really fucking miss him. Cue buckets of tears upon arriving home.

~ random person: so you write, I'm told.
me: uh, yeah I do. Who told you?
rp: M, she says it's not bad.
me: well, I do always appreciate ringing endorsements.
rp: aw c'mon, its not like what you write is real stuff, anyway.
me:... real stuff?
rp: yeah, like, it's not like some politically relevant essay or some kind of future literary gem. You know what I mean.
And he wasn't even being mean about it. I do know what he meant, but still, screw you asshole, you've never read a word I've written and how can you tell it's not politically relevant? (it isn't) or an actual piece of future literary gem?, maybe when I rule the world it'll become so. Stoopid people that hurt delicate feelings are stoopid. ::stomps foot::

Things of the  aw
~Max: you could totally be a hand model.
He's random like that.
~ PB&J sandwiches for breakfast. I loooooove peanut butter.
~ This site which Mousey led me to discover. Thanks babe!
~ The uni's counselor. She's such a sweetheart, I had no problem talking to her about my reasons to be there. At all. And, since we're on it, I got an email from my tutor letting me know my "feeling uncomfortable" around a single member of the group was enough for him to reassign me elsewhere. The wording and tone of the whole thing makes me think he might have clued in or at least suspected what my request was really about, which ups his brownie points with me considerably. You've no idea the relief this is.

Gonna go now because there're some things I need to deal with. Let you know how that works out. Love y'all heaps and heaps!

whomever was that recced me Murder by Death, please know that I am so grateful for your kindness. You have made my life such a nicer place.

Also? I kinda wish I remembered who you are...

 FELIZ CUMPLE MK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

one of these days I'll actually be able to provide better presents than simply CAPS LOCKING EVERYTHING IN THAT SENTENCE. But until that day...

HOPE IT'S AWESOME AND YOU HAVE CAKE AND LOTS OF PRESENTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE, BABY!

Pain, why do you hurt so? Is there some reason why you gotta annoy that much? Did someone break your heart in the past, and here you are, taking revenge wherever it is to be found?
Why?
Just. Why?
/miserable, half-written poetry.

I am in so much pain right now. Had a twenty minutes long eye surgery yesterday and spent the entire day in bed, with ice packs pressed to my face and eventually sneaked out to check email and stuff, didn't take more than five minutes doing so, went back to bed and stayed there until this morning when I went to get the bandages out (what an adventure it was, to type single-eyedly) and then, there it was: PAIN, they gave me a shot because the pills that had been working so well until then were just not doing a thing. God!

I can see clearly, perfectly focused and everything, but it hurts so bad I wanna throw up. My right eyelid is all swollen and purple at the moment, looks like someone took an elbow to it. The surgery was fairly noninvasive, just peel off the lower eyelid a little way down and clean up, three small incisions that didn't even bleed all that much and that's that, I understand it should hurt some, but HOLY MOTHER OF HELL!, shouldn't be this bad today. I'm told.

::curls up in a ball::

I think I'm getting kinda feverish too. Maybe is just paranoia.